Damn bird

For those of you that don't know I have a pet parrot.

I've had him for about 15 years now and for the most part he's a horrible pet.

Sure, he has his moments when he's a sweet bird and gently saying "I'm a pretty, pretty bird", but for the most part he screams like hell and throws seeds all over my house.

At the moment I'm dodging corn kernels that little SOB is shooting at me, they're ricocheting all over my damn living room. He thinks the corn kernels in his food are a toy and he has it down to an art of pinching those things in his beak and sending them flying all over the house at an astounding velocity. I've destroyed 3 vacuums cleaning up after him and his "Toys". Vacuums don't like dried corn.

I decided to be nice and got up at 6:30 this morning to drive the 20 miles to Wal-Mart to buy him nesting material, food, and a toy.

When I got home I cleaned his cage, hung up his toy and gave him some fresh food. He stood on his favorite perch watching me the entire time and acting excited about this development. As soon as I left him to his own devices he broke his toy, shit all over his freshly cleaned cage, and started throwing seeds all over my house.

Oh well, he'll only live another 20 years or so, but he makes up for all his nastiness every time I walk in the door and he starts dancing and yelling "Hello Dad!"

It melts my heart every time.