Golf Balls

This isn't one of my stories, but rather one that was related to me by a former co-worker who had been a member of the Honolulu police force.

Some guy had gone bat shit insane and barricaded himself in a house with weapons and was threatening to kill himself over some trivial matter.

That is not funny in the least, it's frankly very sad.

However about 10 hours into the standoff it became quite obvious to the boys in blue this guy was not going to kill himself and they were wanting to get home to their families. And this idiot was keeping them from their families. My buddy and a few of his fellow officers had taken up a position in a house directly behind the guy. In a bedroom to be exact. There wasn't a whole lot for them to do to ease their boredom of sitting there hour after hour while this guy went on about the brain police or whatever the hell his problem was.

One of the guys found some golf balls in the closet and apparently after 5 hours he'd had enough and decided to put an end to this silliness. Everytime the negotiator got the guy calmed down a bit this other dude would hurl a couple of golf balls against the house and yell "Go ahead and kill yourself you fucking pussy! DO IT! PUSSY!"

And the guy would flip his shit. Again.

The negotiator couldn't figure out what was going on. Every damn time he had the guy calmed down he would suddenly start screaming like a wounded Nar Whale and begin making random threats against society.

I don't mean to make fun of the mentally ill, but sadly if I was there I would've done the same damned thing. You have to admit that it is pretty damn funny.